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Publication #FAR0051

 

Children and Fears1

Diana Converse2

As new parents, most moms and dads dream about their beautiful healthy babies growing to become happy, well-adjusted human beings. What they can't see are the challenges that some children may encounter, including something as common as fear.

What factors contribute to children's early fears? According to the North Dakota State University Extension faculty, two key factors are maturity level and emotional susceptibility. As a child grows, different fears may be noticed at different times. For example, fear of strangers declines as a fear of monsters rises. A two-year-old may fear the dark, a bath, loud noises, animals, or separation. Four-year-olds may add death, and a school-aged child's number-one fear is that of losing a parent.

Researchers also distinguish between fluid and fixed fears. A fluid fear is one that comes and goes. Fluid fears are usually considered normal. It may be a fear that changes from week to week or persists for a limited period and begins to fade away. A fixed fear is one that lingers or intensifies. Fixed fears may require a lot of patience to work through.

Parents can help children understand fear by validating the child's feelings and openly discussing their fears. Set the tone with honesty and allow the child to express his or her feelings. Help children to realize that some fears are real and sensible, such as fear of heights or dark streets. Others just appear real. Help them understand the difference between real and fantasy with patience, gentleness, and open communication. Author and researcher Laura Berk suggests that to help a child manage fear, reduce the child's exposure to frightening stories and books and television until the child is able to distinguish appearance from reality.

Listening, learning, and living together: it's the science of life. "Family Album" is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, and of WUFT-FM. If you'd like to learn more, please visit our website at http://www.familyalbumradio.org.

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References

Berk, L. (2004). Development through the lifespan (3rd ed.) Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Gebeke, D. (1994). Children and fear (HE458). Retrieved August 8, 2007, from http://www.ext.nodak.edu/extpubs/yf/famsci/he458w.htm

Footnotes

1.

This document is FAR0051, one of a series of the Family Youth and Community Sciences Department, Florida Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida. Broadcast as program 268. First published March 2009. Revised October 2010. Reviewed March 2012. In the interest of time and/or clarity, the broadcast version of this script may have been modified. Visit the EDIS website at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu.

2.

Diana Converse, Extension agent III, Hillsborough County, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 32611.

The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function with non-discrimination with respect to race, creed, color, religion, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, political opinions or affiliations. For more information on obtaining other extension publications, contact your county Cooperative Extension service.

U.S. Department of Agriculture, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Florida, IFAS, Florida A. & M. University Cooperative Extension Program, and Boards of County Commissioners Cooperating. Nick T. Place, Dean.