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Publication #FAR4009

 

Stepfamily Relationships1

Patricia Bartlett and Suzanna Smith2

Figure 1. 
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Parents may greet the announcement of a grown child's remarriage and the addition of "step-grandchildren" with mixed emotions. The idea of becoming a step-grandparent may generate anxiety about whether you'll like the children and whether they will like you. You may also wonder: what exactly are the duties of a step-grandparent?

Family life educators from Kansas State University offer helpful insights on making the transition to step-grandparenting. First, understand that this relationship can't be created overnight. Relax and let yourself enjoy the process of getting to know and care for each member of the blended family. If you feel the children are slow to warm up to you, remember that this family was likelycreated out of loss, through divorce or the death of a parent. Your relationship-building may have to work around feelings of loss and conflict.

As a step-grandparent, you can have an important role in your new family. For example, it's not uncommon for children to feel as though their newly married parents are too involved with their own lives and each other to find time for the children. Additionally, stepchildren often want to have a relationship with their new grandparents, but may be uncertain about how to get started. With the gift of time, you can offer companionship and a listening ear. You may find you have many things in common!

You'll need to create your own grandparenting role: one that is comfortable for you and that works for the stepfamily.

Listening, learning, and living together: it's the science of life. "Family Album" is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you'd like to learn more, please visit our Web site at http://www.familyalbumradio.org.

To listen to the radio broadcast:

http://www.radiosource.net/radio_stories/296.mp3

http://www.radiosource.net/radio_stories/296.wav

Reference

Ferrer, M. (adapted by). (2002). Stepping stones for stepfamilies: For step-grandparents (FCS2174). Gainesville: Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Florida Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida. Retrieved August 10, 2007, from http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/FY038 [18 September 2012].

Footnotes

1.

This document is FAR4009, one of a series of the Family Youth and Community Sciences Department, Florida Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida. Broadcast as program 296 in January 2007. Published on EDIS September 2012. In the interest of time and/or clarity, the broadcast version of this script may have been modified. Visit the EDIS website at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu.

2.

Patricia Bartlett, staff writer, and Suzanna Smith, associate professor, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 32611.

The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function with non-discrimination with respect to race, creed, color, religion, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, political opinions or affiliations. For more information on obtaining other extension publications, contact your county Cooperative Extension service.

U.S. Department of Agriculture, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Florida, IFAS, Florida A. & M. University Cooperative Extension Program, and Boards of County Commissioners Cooperating. Nick T. Place, Dean.