University of FloridaSolutions for Your Life

Download PDF
Publication #FAR3037

 

Adult Children of High-Conflict Marriages1

Donna Davis2

Figure 1. 
[Click thumbnail to enlarge.]

Most of us have probably heard someone declare that they had remained in their marriage "for the sake of the kids." Research suggests, however, that logic may not hold up. In the long run, children whose parents are in high-conflict marriages may not be any better off than children whose parents divorce. While divorce has been shown to create significant negative outcomes for many children over the course of their lives, new research shows that conflict in marriage can have lasting effects into adulthood as well (Amato and Afifi, 2006).

Researchers from Penn State University compared adult children of low-conflict and high-conflict intact marriages and adult children of divorce. They found that adult children of high-conflict marriages had poorer relations with parents, experienced lower self-esteem, and reported less happiness or satisfaction in key life areas than those adult children from low-conflict marriage or divorce. Even as adults, the children from high-conflict marriages felt caught between their parents—forced to choose sides in a hostile environment. Both sons and daughters of high-conflict marriages had weaker ties with their parents as a result of their parents' conflict (Amato and Afifi, 2006).

Surprisingly, adult children of divorce felt less "caught in the middle" than those who had chronically conflicted parents who did not divorce. The researchers conclude that "unlike children of divorce, children with parents in conflicted marriages (who do not divorce) may be unable to escape from their parents' marital problems – even into adulthood" (Amato and Afifi, 2006, p. 222).

Listening, learning, and living together: it's the science of life. "Family Album" is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, and of WUFT-FM. If you'd like to learn more, please visit our website at http://www.familyalbumradio.org.

To listen to the radio broadcast:

http://www.radiosource.net/radio_stories/428.mp3

Reference

Amato, P.R., and Afifi, T. D. (2006). Feeling caught between parents: Adult children's relations with parents and subjective well being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68, 222-235.

Footnotes

1.

This document is FAR3037, one of a series of the Family Youth and Community Sciences Department, Florida Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida. Broadcast as program 428 in January 2007. Published on EDIS August 2012. In the interest of time and/or clarity, the broadcast version of this script may have been modified. Visit the EDIS website at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu.

2.

Donna Davis, senior producer, Family Album Radio, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 32611.

The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function with non-discrimination with respect to race, creed, color, religion, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, political opinions or affiliations. For more information on obtaining other extension publications, contact your county Cooperative Extension service.

U.S. Department of Agriculture, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Florida, IFAS, Florida A. & M. University Cooperative Extension Program, and Boards of County Commissioners Cooperating. Nick T. Place, Dean.