University of FloridaSolutions for Your Life

Download PDF
Publication #FAR1211

 

Teens and Dating: Tips for Parents1

Kate Fogarty and Donna Davis2

Figure 1. 
[Click thumbnail to enlarge.]

I'll never forget the initial shock I felt when my second grader came home from school one day to tell me that one of her friends was "going out" with one of the little boys in her class. "Going out?!" I asked. "What does that mean?" She couldn't really answer, much to my relief. Many parents might likewise find themselves unprepared when they first learn their elementary and middle schoolers have developed perfectly normal crushes on their classmates.

Perhaps more important is being prepared when your teens start dating. According to research, the relationships teens have with their parents—especially the degree of support and security they feel in their relationships—influence their having warm and secure feelings about friendship. Having a secure view of friendship is also positively related to teens' security in their romantic relationships. Experts report that as long as dating doesn't start too early in adolescent years, dating is a way to learn cooperative skills and sharing activities. It also teaches socially appropriate behavior and manners, interdependence and companionship, empathy and sensitivity, as well as how to compromise.

Although most adolescent romantic relationships do not last long, first romances are practice for more mature bonds in adulthood. In fact, warm and caring romantic relationships in the teen years tend to lead to satisfying, committed relationships in early adulthood.

Parents need not panic as their teens begin to date. Rather, it's important to provide a safe and secure base for your teen to communicate with you openly about his or her relationship.

Listening, learning, and living together: it's the science of life. "Family Album" is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, and of WUFT-FM. If you'd like to learn more, please visit our website at http://www.familyalbumradio.org.

To listen to the radio broadcast:

http://www.radiosource.net/radio_stories/492.mp3

http://www.radiosource.net/radio_stories/492.wav

Footnotes

1.

This document is FAR1211, one of a series of the Family Youth and Community Sciences Department, Florida Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida. Broadcast as program 492 in January 2007. Published on EDIS July 2012. In the interest of time and/or clarity, the broadcast version of this script may have been modified. Visit the EDIS website at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu.

2.

Kate Fogarty, assistant professor, and Donna Davis, senior producer, Family Album Radio, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 32611.

The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function with non-discrimination with respect to race, creed, color, religion, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, political opinions or affiliations. For more information on obtaining other extension publications, contact your county Cooperative Extension service.

U.S. Department of Agriculture, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Florida, IFAS, Florida A. & M. University Cooperative Extension Program, and Boards of County Commissioners Cooperating. Nick T. Place, Dean.