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Publication #FAR1215

 

Friends during Early Adolescence1

Suzanna Smith2

Figure 1. 
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If you have a son or daughter between the ages of 10 and 14, you probably have heard, "But Mom, Dad, all my friends do, have, or wear…" something you don't want them to do, have, or wear.

During the early teen years, the need to fit in with peers is stronger than at any other age. And as friendships become closer, peers have more influence.

Parents may worry that their children's friends, especially new ones, might be a bad influence or that they'll fall into the "wrong crowd." But you can help your young teen develop healthy friendships.

Keep in mind that peer pressure can be positive. Help your child choose friends whose values, activities, and behaviors are consistent with your family's. Get to know your child's friends and their parents.

Make sure your child is in a safe environment after school. At some time in the young teen's schedule, allow some down time "with friends in a safe place with adult supervision" (U.S. Department of Education, 2005, p. 39). This helps young teens learn important social skills.

Talk with your young adolescent about making good choices and resisting pressure to disobey rules or values. Teach her or him how to get out of a dangerous or inappropriate situation.

Show your child what a good friendship is. It may be simply listening to a family member or friend who needs to talk something over. "Children who see their parents treat each other and their friends with kindness and respect" (U.S. Department of Education, 2005, p. 41) have a head start on learning how to develop healthy friendships for their early teen years.

Listening, learning, and living together: it's the science of life. "Family Album" is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, and of WUFT-FM. If you'd like to learn more, please visit our website at http://www.familyalbumradio.org.

To listen to the radio broadcast:

http://www.radiosource.net/radio_stories/508.mp3

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Reference

U. S. Department of Education. (2005). Helping your child through early adolescence. Retrieved February 13, 2007 from http://www.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/adolescence/adolescence.pdf.

Footnotes

1.

This document is FAR1215, one of a series of the Family Youth and Community Sciences Department, Florida Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida. Broadcast as program 508. Published July 2012. In the interest of time and/or clarity, the broadcast version of this script may have been modified. Visit the EDIS website at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu.

2.

Suzanna Smith, associate professor, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 32611.

The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function with non-discrimination with respect to race, creed, color, religion, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, political opinions or affiliations. For more information on obtaining other extension publications, contact your county Cooperative Extension service.

U.S. Department of Agriculture, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Florida, IFAS, Florida A. & M. University Cooperative Extension Program, and Boards of County Commissioners Cooperating. Nick T. Place, Dean.